Opportunity In Adversity

Before I tell you how you can turn your wounds into wisdom…Let me ask you what your concept of adversity is? How does it look like to you? How do you feel in chaos? What negative emotions are associated with adversity?

How do we feel the “Feelings of loss and rejection” …any idea?

Let’s explore a few standard labels of adversity …being jobless…a bad divorce…an academic failure…health issues…the list goes on n on…kind of never-ending list!

The fact is, adversity does not discriminate. Which means it hits us across the board… rich or poor, young or old. The sooner we understand this inevitable reality, the better we will learn to deal with it. Moreover, the cosmic world has its own definite patterns mixed with a perfect blend of order and disorder, happiness, and sorrow, making it a universal reality and not case-specific. Consequently, the human struggle is invariably all-inclusive though the magnitude and form of crisis vary person to person the suffering yet remains a common choice.

The real challenge is how we respond to adversity …staying positive and hopeful in happy days seems “easy peasy lemon squeezy’’ what to do in the dark days of our life?

The most common coping behavior is that people harbor victim mentality and start blaming circumstances, fate, and significant others as a causal agent. Besides, adversity ceases people’s ability to take action and solution-orientated thinking; instead, they explain adversity as an excuse for not doing well.

Sometimes adversity leads the way towards self-doubt and self-criticism. Individuals become more insecure, and they operate from NOT ENOUGH, resulting in various psychological tendencies such as ‘disease to please.’ Besides, individuals adopt self-conflicting behaviors for the sake of social approval. It widens the gap between real and perceived self. As a consequence, it aggravates the feeling of loss and rejection.

Another question is, can we re-orient our definition/understanding of adversity…? Of course, we can! The same adversity that stops you moving can be transformed into a moving source that propels your growth and development.

Technique #1

REFRAMING

We replace irrational explanations of adversity with rational. We should Shift our focus from negative aspects of our lives to the positive or neutral aspects. Diverting Attention from bad to good is a learnable skill. Although Human beings are hardwired to negative or catastrophic thinking based on fears, threats, and weaknesses, we can navigate our minds by reframing the situation.

Transform negative energy into positive energy- We are free to change any moment…VICTOR FRANKL. Power to choose is one of the most beautiful human qualities. You have the choice to react- there is always a space present between stimulus and response, and there lies the opportunity to choose (Victor Frankl). How do we perceive ourselves Powerful or Powerless…sink or swim…it depends on the individual’s explanatory style.

Technique #2

BENEFIT FINDING

With a conscious evaluation of the situation, we can look for things that we still have. Considering the value of what we still have is far more valuable than what we lost can severely impact our perception of adversity. For instance, writing a gratitude journal can significantly reduce stress and anxiety.

Technique #3

FINDING GOOD

A study conducted by Martin Seligman (2013) for 6 months reveals that people who hunt for something good everyday eventually find loads of good in their life. His six months of research proved that the people who recalled three good things to feel grateful about felt happier and stronger.

Research also proved that the above group were able to handle the life adversities better than those who didn’t practice good stuff appreciation.

Technique #4

SKILL OF RESILIENCE

Resilience is a crucial life skill to deal with adversity. Resilience is the capacity to remain strong, healthy even after experiencing a dreadful event. It is also defined as the ability to bounce back or revert back to the original position after being stretched or pulled by any adverse incident.

Research indicates that resilient people are happier and more satisfied with life having less or no anxiety or depression. Another research says that only 20% of people are born optimistic…rest have to learn it or master it.

Technique #5

HELPING ME OR HARMING ME’ FORMULA

Apply this formula on your over-thinking and overindulgence to “what happened?’’, “Why it happened?,” and “ Why Me?” thinking patterns and pull yourself out of chewing on the same pain over and over again.

Asking yourself the question, ‘Is it helping me or harming me?’ allows you to choose the right options to think and behave. This technique allows you to act in a manner that you feel empowered, strengthened and happier.

Bear in mind, setbacks are normal. We all get be hit by them sooner or later. The order can be different. The intensity can be different. The nature of our setbacks can be different. But as long as we are alive, we will experience them.

My advice is that instead of complaining, lets face the adversity. Use to it become a better version of who we are. Always remember, A SET-BACK IS A SET-UP FOR COME BACK!